Week 1 Recap

Week 1 is in the books.  Here are some highlights and random thoughts for this week:

• Wall has already called CHAMPIONSHIP.  The fantasy gods immediately give Hakeem Nicks a swollen knee.  Lesson learned, Wall?
• The Jared Cook Experiment didn't work in Week 1.  I already miss GRONK from last year.
• Kenny Britt is lucky.  First he gets off scott free from his off-season shenanigans.  This week, he catches a pass over the middle and is about to get his head removed from his body.  Instead, the defender gives a forearm shiver to his shadow..and 80 yards later a TD.
• Who needs wide receivers when you have 2 beasts at tight end?  Tom Brady doesn't.
• I have firmly jumped onto the Ravens bandwagon.  Mendo might be able to cash in on Ray Rice for a 10th place finish this year.  What?  I said 'might.'  He also 'might not.'
• Ron Jaworski has a potty mouth.
• Those damned Texans are doing it again to me.  Let's see if they can go into Miami and beat up on a team that has an offense.  That has somewhat of an offense.
• Does Sebastian Janikowski (aka SeaBass) chug boilermakers on the sidelines during game?  Wow, his body is.......unique.
• Run DMc is in beast mode already.  CJ2K wishes he was.
• Bronco fans are idiots.  TEBOW chants already?  If he gets traded....there will be rioting.

Week 2 Duties
TOW: Wall....with a late scare from Metz and his Brady to Welker jackpot.  Sorry, Bille.  That was brutal.

Predictions:  Boobs

Updated 2011 Franchise Tags!

Here are the final franchise tags for the 2011 season

REEF
New Tags:  RB- Arian Foster- 3 yr tag; RB - Maurice Jones-Drew - 1 yr tag and forfeit of the 12th pick of this year's draft.
Old Tags:  QB - Philip Rivers - 2 yrs remaining; WR - Calvin Johnson - 2 yrs remaining

SAL
New Tags:  RB - Frank Gore - 3 yr tag; WR - DeSean Jackson - 3 yr tag
Old Tags:  RB - Rashard Mendenhall - 2 yrs remaining

JACE
New Tags:  TE - Antonio Gates - 3yr tag
Old Tags:  QB - Aaron Rodgers - 2 yrs remaining

WALL
New Tags:  WR - Hakeem Nicks - 3yr tag
Old Tags:  RB - Matt Forte - 1 yr remaining; RB - Lesean McCoy -2 yrs remaining

BILLE
New Tags:  WR - Greg Jennings - 3yr tag
Old Tags:  RB - Michael Turner - 1 yr remaining; WR - Marques Colston - 2 yrs remaining

MARTIN
New Tags:  NONE!
Old Tags:  RB - Darren MCFadden - 1yr remaining; QB - Matt Schaub - 2yrs remaining; WR - Roddy White- 2 yrs remaining

TOM
New Tags:  QB - Michael Vick - 3yr tag
Old Tags:  RB - Jamaal Charles - 2 yrs remaining

METZ
New Tags:  RB - Legarrette Blount - 3 yr tag; RB - Peyton Hillis - 3 yr tag
Old Tags:  RB - Brandon Jacobs - 1 yr remaining; TE - Dallas Clark - 2 yrs remaining. Metz is paying to drop Jacobs.

BOOBS
New Tags:  WR - Larry Fitzgerald - 3yr tag
Old Tags:  QB - Jay Cutler - 1 yr remaining; RB - Chris Johnson - 1 yr remaining (via trade with Wall)

TIBS
New Tags:  TE - Vernon Davis - 3yr tag
Old Tags:  RB - Cedric Benson - 2 yrs remaining

MENDO
New Tags:  WR - Vincent Jackson - 3yr tag
Old Tags:  RB - Ray Rice - 2 yrs remaining

KELLY
New Tags:  NONE!
Old Tags:  RB - Beanie Wells - 2 yrs remaining; RB - Shonne Green - 2 yrs remaining

TRADE!

Let's kick this season off with a trade, why don't we?  It's between Wall and Bobby.  Here are the details...


Bobby gets:
RB - Chris Johnson- 1 yr remaining in a 3 yr tag.

Wall gets;
1st Round Pick of the 2011 draft
3rd Round Pick of the 2013 draft.

Results of the Draft Lottery

And here....we.....go!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.  The results of the draft lottery are in!  Enjoy.

1.  Tibs

2.  Mendo

3.  Metz

4.  Kelly

5.  Boobs

6.  Bille

7.  Tom

8.  Martin

Looks like the winner of the Adrian Peterson Lottery is Tibs.  AP will stay within the family.  Today, I get to say "I told you so."  I highly doubt Andre Johnson is worth the number one overall pick.  You lose an AJ and Steven Jackson...but gain an Adrian.  Addition by subtrac.....wait. Never mind.  Enjoy, Tibs.  Moving on!

What in the world are Metz and Mendo going to do?  I would not put it past them to just pick up the players they lost in Peyton and Brees, respectively.  With respect, perhaps these are men that we don't fully understand.

Kelly is next....Eli will be on the board.  Along with Tom Brady.  That's pretty much a wash.  Kelly only has one rule.  The only sensible way to [draft] in this world is without a plan [or pre-draft rankings].  And when the draft comes, he is not gonna break his one rule.

With the 5th pick, Bobby will burn it on either Mark Ingram or Mikel Leshoure.  I will pray for the latter.  Some men just want to watch the world burn.

From here on out, your guess is as good as mine.  Plus, I am playing this one close to the chest.

Draft Lottery Details and MORE!

I am just the messenger...

Much like the NFL...we are just flying by the seat of our pants this offseason.  Here is the rundown of events that will take place in the next few weeks:

• August 15th (Monday) - The lotto will be run by the commissioner and the results will be released on this site.  An email notification will go out, as well.
• August 19th (Friday) - All franchise tags are due to the commissioner.
• August 27th (Saturday) - This was the original date for the Lotto.  Due to people's schedules and freshly made babies, it will just be easier for the lotto to take place in cyber space.  With that said, I still think we should all try to get together on this Saturday.  Time and location unknown.
• August 28th (Sunday) - 2011 NCL Draft.  Location is unknown for now.

The 2011 NCL Lottery
Here is a breakdown of the lottery balls for each team:

• Kelly - 100 balls   (Eli Manning is looking strong this year)
• Mendo - 75 balls  (5 ball penalty for playing Inactive J.Addai in Week 8)
• Tibs - 60    (Here is your chance to screw over your lil bro in law. AP to Tibs!)
• Boobs - 50  (balls and Boobs.  Hangover Part II, anybody?)
• Metz - 40   (Will Peyton still be around???)
• Tom - 30    (How appropriate for this year!  Well, I guess everyone in this league is around that age.  So, it's not that crazy.  Well, except for Boobs.  But hey....his ball count is appropriate too!  ***queue rimshot***)
• Martin - 20  (10x the normal man!)
• Bille - 10    (10x the normal Lance Armstrong!)

Wall, Jace, Sal and Efurd have no balls.  Obviously.


Franchise Tags Detail
Between the 15th and 19th, you must decide whether you will keep your first round pick or tag a current player with the infamous 1-YEAR TAG.  Also, during this time, each team must decide on all other franchise tag details.  New 3-YEAR TAGs and the DROP TAGs must be done by the 19th.  Here is a breakdown of the players that must ADD at least ONE 3-YEAR TAG:

• Jace
• Boobs
• Tom
• Mendo
• Sal
• Tibs

This post should of been titled....Don't Fear The Bullet Points.

I almost forgot to mention this.  Reef wanted to know if anybody needs the 2010 Final Rosters excel doc.  You know, just in case you haven't seen it yet.

Free Agency!

Good Afternoon.  We are marching right along with this super condensed NFL and NCL period of free agency.  The NFL has been on full tilt for over a week now.  Teams resigning key players, stealing free agents out of the clutches of other teams, and players generally leaving the Minneapolis / St Paul  area.  And good news again!  The Texans actually did something in the off season and THEY HAVE NOT LOST A GAME YET!  I am so glad we locked up Matt Leinart for 2 more years.

On the other hand, the NCL off season has been slow.  Hopefully, it will ramp up in the next few weeks.  Here is a breakdown of the Unrestricted and Restricted Free Agents hitting the open marke in the NCL

Unrestricted Free Agents

• Adrian Peterson - RB - Vikings
• Steven Jackson - RB - Rams
• Peyton Manning - QB - Colts
• Tom Brady - QB - Pats
• Drew Brees - QB - Saints

This is the best class of UFAs in our short little history with the franchise tags.  If I am not mistaken, three of these players (Brady - 07, Brees - 08, Peterson - 09) have helped their manager win NCL gold.  Yes, I know.  Mendo was good for a season and it was only because of Drew Brees.  Don't worry, everything went back to normal after that year.  I imagine all five of these players will find a team by the middle of the second round.  Shoot..or even the end of the first round.

Restricted Free Agents (owner can use one year tag)

• Tony Romo
• Maurice Jones-Drew
• Clinton Portis
• Ladainian Tomlinson
• Braylon Edwards
• Kellen Winslow
• Randy Moss
• Andre Johnson
• TJ Hoosh  (not going to look it up)

It appears that only MJD will be hit with the one year tag.  None of the other players are worth a first rounder except for Andre Johnson.  However, Tibs has 3rd best odds to land the first pick of the draft....and I am sorry.....AJ isn't worth that.  I find it amazing how much a player can change in 3 years.  Randy is retired for now.  LT, who took a pay decrease to stay with the Jets, is a shell of his former self.  Does Clinton or TJ have a team right now?

And as I am writing this....Tom is starting the Favre Watch in the NCL.  Some things never change.  To be honest, I would rather hear speculation about Brett Favre coming back than listen to the Ryan Brothers make asses out of themselves.  Hey LOOK AT ME!  I AM FAT AND LOUD!  ME AND QUENTIN TARANTINO HAVE THE SAME SEXUAL FETISHES!!  LOOK AT ME!

I will post another entry in the next few days regarding trade rumors and my predictions of the soon to be tagged players.

Is this the End?!?!?

Can it really be the end of the lockout?  All these articles lately about the end of the lockout and the flurry of free agency is getting me all excited.  That means the start of the NCL season is just days away.  It feels like it has been years since the last season.  

Most sports have been total sh!t since the final whistle blew at the Super Bowl.   I will say that the NBA Playoffs actually seemed relevant this year.  That is a first in probably a decade (for me, anyway).  But was it due to the fact that we didn't know if there was going to be an NFL season?  Partly, I assume.  Some people realized that baseball was on.  I was not one of them.  Some people even thought golf was cool again.  Oh really?  Why?  Was Tiger nailing porn stars again?  No, but some young weird sounding dude from the other side of the planet won a tournajsfal;ffffffffffffffffffffffffffb.  Oh, I am sorry.  I think I fell asleep typing that last sentence.

Other fair-weather fans got behind soccer (for 3 days).  Even crazier....it was a women's team.  Are you serious?!?!  Oh man, the TWITTER-VERSE blew up during the USA v Japan game!  The most TWEETS per second!  The President was even TWEETING. And then we lost.  There were more TWEETS than during the ROYAL WEDDING!  Oh yeah, that happened, too.  Prince William.  Second in line to be King.  Wow.  By the time he is King....he will be looking about as good as his dad does now.  Can you tell we need football back?

How about some NFL news?  The Bengals didn't let us down this offseason.  Cedric "the bong" Benson performed his annual assault on someone in Austin.  This time it was a family member.  Pacman Jones also visited his first home due to disorderly conduct and, of course, resisting arrest.

The Super Bowl losers were busy, too. James Harrison couldn't keep his mouth shut.  He pissed everyone off from the Commissioner to his own QB.  Hines Ward got another trophy (if Dancing With the Stars counts) and was then thrown into a drunk tank.  Big Ben has been quite.  No rapes or tipping his motorcycle over.

In some positive news....the Texans have lost zero games.

How about some NCL news?  Looks like Justin Kelly is engaged.  Now, he will care even less about this league!!!  Jace was busy this offseason, too.  He somehow managed to marry .... a woman.   Boobs is on the fast track to being married, but the NFL season should hopefully start before that goes down.  Much like Kelly, this is an opportune time to take advantage. 

And the Commish's daughter is about to arrive.  I imagine Callie will show up the same day free agency starts.  Then, there will be a total sh!tstorm of trades, emails and people bitching about the rules we agreed upon 5 years ago.  Reef will be out of pocket for 3 days and when he finally checks his emails....he will have a massive coronary.  Eric Wall will assume duties as commissioner.  Everyone will then quit 4 seconds later.  I guess this is the end...

FINISH STRONG!!!

Alright, guys.  I know interest in the league has waned in the past few weeks.  Except for those in the money hunt still.   However, we need to finish on a high note.  With that said...

Week 17 Duties

TOW - Austin
Predictions - Wall

Week 15 - I.I.W.A.B.M.

Well.  I am changing the name of this weekly post ... again.  It will now be called PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS ... PUMWYMI.  Why?  Because I am now a betting man.  Last week was my first bet.  A 3 game parlay....and Jeff Fisher boofed it up on Thursday.  However, my Raiders pick was off, too.

Anyway... lets get to this week.
(Lines provided by bodog.com via the Yahoo Sports Odds page)
San Francisco 49ers @ San Diego Chargers (-9 points)
Giving 9 points is a ton for a team that has been super inconsistent.  I take the 49ers and the 9 points.  The 49ers looked good last week against the Seahawks and may be rebounding to save Singletary's job.

New Orleans Saints @ Baltimore Ravens (-1 point)
I take the Saints on the road.  A 10-3 team + 1 point??  I will take it.  The Ravens looked extremely beatable in the second half of the Texans game...and it is a short week for them.

Houston Texans @ Tennessee Titans (-1.5 points)
Since the Texans season is over....that means they will start winning.  I will take the Texans plus the points.  The Titans are horrendous and haven't won a game since the middle of October.

Cleveland Browns @ Cincinnati Bengals (-1 point)
The 2-11 Bengals are favored?!?  They haven't won since September.  I will take Peyton Hillis and the Browns plus a point against the Bengels.  Their secret weapon is back this week..... Colt McCoy.

Last Week: 1 of 3 (33%)
YTD:  4 of 7 (75%)

Week 15 duties

The TOW is back!  Week 14 was a silent week for the TOW.  Jace won the honors...but was unable to give us anything.  That could only mean one of two things.  1.  Jace was out hunting the exotic 3 antlered chupacabre so that he can stand over its carcass and take a picture of it ... OR ... 2.  He mouthed off to his lady and has been bound and ball gagged, locked in his own closet.  I suspect the latter due to the lack of dead game picture updates on Facebook.  Will someone go over to his house and help him come out of the closet?  (See what I did there????)

With that said., just like Metz two weeks ago, I finally won TOW duties this season.  It has been a long drought for me.  My last TOW was in the final week of last season.  My earnings from my last two TOW victories have netted my NOTHING!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for being so active on the waiver wires.

This week's TOW is Christmas themed.  I know... it is a week early, but due to people traveling we may not get as good of response next week.

Week 15 TOW:  What is your opponent thankful for this Holiday season?

Predictions go to Boobs.

I will post this on the yahoo forums, as well.  But you should really get all your info here.